He's My Man, Not My God.

All of the pressure that you put on a man to be perfect is a reflection of your incomplete, lukewarm relationship with God. God is the only one that can make you whole. If you go into the relationship as an incomplete person, you've already destroyed the relationship before it truly begins. No one can take the pressure of being someone's god, that’s why God alone is sovereign. Therefore you bring nothing to the relationship but stress and frustration. Your relationship with God should always be a priority, it's the foundation to every area of your life. If God is indeed Love, then God's love needs to be made whole in you before you can love another human being, who is meeting you with their own baggage.

            "If They Can Control Your Emotions, They Can Control Your Life."

From experience I know that it's very easy for us to make our men our god, placing them on a pedestal that only has room for God. What ends up happening is, you hold him responsible for things that he has no control over. For example, peace, restoration and joy but God is the only supplier for that. Don’t get me wrong, being loved by the right one is life-changing, but they will have their bad days. So, when you have them positioned as the god in your life, there's no room for grace. They’ll feel like they always have to be on 10, they can never mess up. I know, we’ve heard that the man should be our superman, which is fine but let him be a human being too. Sometimes we see a Godly man, and expect him to be God Himself. Meaning, no mistakes, no breaks, no flaws, no issues, no weakness the list goes on! Just because he’s a Godly man doesn’t mean there’s no room for error, it just means that just as you are fighting daily to be more like Christ , so is he. In that kind of environment the love cannot grow, in fact you suffocate it. You'll begin to wonder why you're not happy, overlooking all the good that they are able to do, because you're so focused on your expectations of them being your superman, the source of your happiness, and ultimately your god. Humans were created for worship, so it's very easy for us to become obsessed with someone or something. But you were commanded to guard our heart (Proverbs 4:23) and guarding your heart becomes extremely difficult, if you’re giving a human being power that only belongs to God.

  I've learned that for God to be the foundation, my eyes have to be focused on Him(Jesus) not him (David). Okay… that sounded pretty spiritual and not practical. Basically all of the attention that you’re giving to him, the constant worship, the fact that you can’t wait to find an opportunity to praise him in front of everyone but you praise God only in private...that has to stop. It's extremely toxic to your spirit and the health of the relationship. When my relationship with God is off, then my relationship with David is completely off. It directly affects us because I'm spiritually frustrated, and so the littlest things irritate me and no amount of words of affirmation or hugs can fix that.

"Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord." - Jeremiah 17:5

In some cases, women make the man their god before they even meet him. A relationship won't make you whole, don't desire it more than you desire God. A man, a relationship will not answer the cry of your soul, although it can drown out the noise for some time but not for long. Remember that he is a human being just like you, He's not Jesus. His goal should be to grow in his assignment to love you just as Christ loves his church (when he’s your husband). But you have to make room for him to grow, Jesus loves the Church as His bride so much that It was worth his life. Newsflash: No one is born with that amount of love! So be full of grace, love and encouragement, it will promote the growth of Christ-like Love! I think that If you can't draw a line between your expectations for God and your expectations from your partner then, you’ve probably given him the place of God in your life. You can't expect him to have all the answers sometimes he just doesn’t know, and you need to be fine with that and carry the same grace God gives you. It is unfair to him, just because you allowed your spiritual well to run dry doesn’t mean your significant other should quench your thirst.

Interestingly enough you get into a relationship thinking you're finally about to be happy, but then months go by and you find yourself just as miserable as you were before. Fact: No man should ever take the place of God, not when he’s your boyfriend, your fiance or husband - it doesn’t matter how the title changes God should still be sovereign in your life. You can respect and honor him without making him an idol. You'll find yourself resenting him and creating problems that aren’t even there! Don’t suck the life out of your relationship, you’ll both be way happier and comfortable when you allow God to be God, all by Himself. No one should have that much power over you! When you give people that kind of power, they will misuse and abuse it.. Which will result in them abusing you and leaving you when they're tired of playing the role of god in your life. Jesus is the only Prince of Peace, so let Him be your main and only source of peace.

Signs: (may not be the same for you, identify yours!)

• Spending more time with him than God.
• Relying solely on him for happiness. 
• Expecting him to "make" you feel loved by him allllllll the time.
• Expecting him to read your mind and know your most deepest desires.. (When you haven’t even voiced them). 
• Exaggerating their every move & mistakes with your imaginary magnifying glass.
• They have the power to turn your day upside down with just a single word. 
• Finding yourself angry at him when he cannot physically be there.
• Overly dependent on him (only God can handle that pressure). 
• You feel like your life is falling apart when he's too busy to spend time with you. 
• Thinking of ways to better your relationship more than your relationship with God.

“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them” (Ex. 20:3–5)

OUR NEW EBOOK "BREAKING FREE AFTER A BREAKUP" IS OUT NOW!!
HERE'S THE LINK!: http://www.amazon.com/dp/ASIN  https://books2read.com/u/3LrB7D 

                               I Love y'all!! & Jesus loves you sooo much more,
                                                               Ella 

Uh oh, I Feel Like My Girlfriend is Already My Wife

After 4 whole years of being with Emmanuella, it’s hard not to feel entitled to sex. In these four years, I’ve been faithful, loyal, patient, I’ve shown her the utmost respect, generosity and much more (I have definitely been a pain in the butt as well but that’s not the point right now). After all the flowers, edible arrangements, dinners, hours on the phone, sweet words, and Instagram features, there are moments when I feel like I’m putting in more work than half my brothers, but ain’t getting’ half of what they gettin’.

Transparency: If You're Fake, Then So is Your Relationship

Revealing your insecurities does not have the power to scare love away, but pretending to be “perfect” will. We’ll constantly be on a search for intimacy and love if we continue to be professionals at hiding what makes us who we are. Hearing the words “I love you” may sound like music to our ears, but WHO are they talking to? We can’t accept those words if we choose to only reveal the parts of ourselves that we see fit to be loved. It’s easy to bite our tongues and keep the ugly areas of our lives to ourselves, but all that does is hinder the growth of the relationship. Sometimes, people struggle with transparency because the other person doesn't make it easy to open up and share. Another reason could be, we are afraid that revealing ourselves will cause only cause people to run away and we’ll be judged or misunderstood.

In our relationship, we've struggled with transparency, but our fear of losing each other’s respect and love made us to belittle it. When we addressed the issue and diligently worked towards keeping it a part of our foundation, we saw the fruit of transparency. The Webster’s definition of Transparency says “a picture viewed by light shining THROUGH it or by projection”. Jesus, He is our light and when He shines through us we can embrace transparency. It is through Him that we become content with who we are as God’s creation, loving Gods work enough to open up and be loved.

Transparency: Unwrap Yourself, You are Your Greatest Gift to the World

Opening up to people is not easy. Some of us might be afraid of rejection. Others might be worried about being judged. Whatever the hesitation, being transparent is a major blessing, both to you and those around you. Reflect on all that you have been through in life; all your triumphs, all your failures, all your happy moments, those times of sadness, everything. Not one person on the face of this earth has experienced all that you have. You are the only person in the whole world who carries and knows your story. That story is special. Some people may like it, some will love it, some will despise you for your experiences, and some might even feel offended by your story. Regardless, this world needs your story. The good, the bad, all of it.

Every time we pretend to be someone we are not, we rob those around us of our true selves, which is our greatest gift to the world. Wearing a mask, putting on a front, and pretending to be someone other than ourselves is extremely dangerous. Each time we do this, we move further and further from our true selves and the mask that we are wearing becomes more attached to us. If we’re not careful, we might convince ourselves that the masks are really our faces.