Uh oh, I Feel Like My Girlfriend is Already My Wife

After 4 whole years of being with Emmanuella, it’s hard not to feel entitled to sex. In these four years, I’ve been faithful, loyal, patient, I’ve shown her the utmost respect, generosity and much more (I have definitely been a pain in the butt as well but that’s not the point right now). After all the flowers, edible arrangements, dinners, hours on the phone, sweet words, and Instagram features, there are moments when I feel like I’m putting in more work than half my brothers, but ain’t getting’ half of what they gettin’.

I'm Busy: I Don't Have Time For God!

Why is it so hard to spend quality time with God? Everyone and everything else gets our 

undivided attention, but God usually gets us when we're worn out from our day or too tired to get out of bed ..or when we need something. Our jobs, school, activities and material things get most of our time, but all these things can and will perish in a matter of seconds. Some of us take more care of our material things than our souls/spiritual life...but your car can easily be destroyed in an accident in 2 seconds, your hair can fall out, your sneakers can catch on fire BUT your spirit can either live in freedom or suffer for eternity. In any relationship, the people involved have to spend quality time with each other. A relationship without communication and quality time is dead and it cannot grow deeper in intimacy. Christianity is so much more than following a list of rules - do and don'ts.

Transparency: If You're Fake, Then So is Your Relationship

Revealing your insecurities does not have the power to scare love away, but pretending to be “perfect” will. We’ll constantly be on a search for intimacy and love if we continue to be professionals at hiding what makes us who we are. Hearing the words “I love you” may sound like music to our ears, but WHO are they talking to? We can’t accept those words if we choose to only reveal the parts of ourselves that we see fit to be loved. It’s easy to bite our tongues and keep the ugly areas of our lives to ourselves, but all that does is hinder the growth of the relationship. Sometimes, people struggle with transparency because the other person doesn't make it easy to open up and share. Another reason could be, we are afraid that revealing ourselves will cause only cause people to run away and we’ll be judged or misunderstood.

In our relationship, we've struggled with transparency, but our fear of losing each other’s respect and love made us to belittle it. When we addressed the issue and diligently worked towards keeping it a part of our foundation, we saw the fruit of transparency. The Webster’s definition of Transparency says “a picture viewed by light shining THROUGH it or by projection”. Jesus, He is our light and when He shines through us we can embrace transparency. It is through Him that we become content with who we are as God’s creation, loving Gods work enough to open up and be loved.

Young Christian Couples: Let's Talk Sex; FAQ (Part 1)

PART 2 will be posted very soon! Here are some questions we've been asked and we thought it would probably help others too. If you have any questions or you wish to discuss certain topics further, let us know below! For social media you can contact us on  Instagram : @For_ella @Presidentduodu,  Facebook : Emmanuella Tandoh (hardly on there) , David Asamoah-Duodu and Twitter : @presidentduodu @_xfollowmyheels.

1. Marriage is so far away; you guys are young, why start waiting now?

DAVID: The start of our careers is also far away, yet we’re in school, studying, writing papers, searching for internships, etc. in hopes of best preparing ourselves for our specific offices. In the same breath, we feel that marriage is a serious office that requires serious preparation. We believe that waiting is a huge element of that preparation, and so... we wait.

ELLA: What he said… Why not start now? Before we are even a couple we are God’s children, and our relationship with Him should also come before “us”. It amazes me how we’re so quick to subtract Gods instructions, and shove Him away but not question how the society says our relationships should be. We’re starting now because we want to grow intimacy every day. You might say it’s still possible to grow in intimacy with sex, but I think people only believe that because that’s all they know. When I compare my previous relationships to me and David’s relationship, I see a huge difference! Abstinence has a way of revealing your true colors without your control, I knew I had issues but this relationship has shown me that I’m actually a hot mess. It’s done the same for David also, loving each other back to life and praying for each other has brought a tremendous amount of healing! I know waiting till marriage isn’t the easiest thing to do, actually it’s become the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s brought healing I didn’t know I needed, brought me closer to God, and a relationship that always seems too good to be true. It’s worth it.