Uh oh, I Feel Like My Girlfriend is Already My Wife

After 4 whole years of being with Emmanuella, it’s hard not to feel entitled to sex. In these four years, I’ve been faithful, loyal, patient, I’ve shown her the utmost respect, generosity and much more (I have definitely been a pain in the butt as well but that’s not the point right now). After all the flowers, edible arrangements, dinners, hours on the phone, sweet words, and Instagram features, there are moments when I feel like I’m putting in more work than half my brothers, but ain’t getting’ half of what they gettin’.

Valentine's Day Weekend : David Surprises Ella with If I Ever Fall In Love

Valentine's Day Weekend : David Surprises Ella with If I Ever Fall In Love

This Valentine's Day Weekend
David: "I have some friends who want to meet you"
*group walks into the room singing *
Ella: I'm going to pass out now..

This was Surprise #1! You can hear David laughing while recording this video lol He really got me good! honestly one of the sweetest moments of my life , thank you for showing me that I do not have to degrade myself for a man to honor me. You go out of your way to remind me that I'm loved every chance you get and I appreciate you so much! 
And thank you to S - Factor of Tufts University , your voices numbed me... literally I couldn't move lol! 

*Other videos will be posted soon on our Youtube channel - David Ella ! Go on the channel and subscribe!!

My Boyfriend Doesn't Want To Wait Till Marriage To Have Sex

You know that empty feeling you get after having sex?... it was great but SOMETHING doesn’t feel right.

You’ve been convicted about the double life that you’ve been living by not giving God every area of your life. Deep down you’re unhappy with yourself and you wish your mind and vagina will catch up with your heart. It doesn’t help that your boyfriend thinks that waiting till marriage to have sex is “childish” and stupid… SO, WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?

Young Christian Couples: Let's Talk Sex; FAQ (Part 2)

For social media you can find us on  

Instagram : @For_ella, @Presidentduodu,  

Facebook : Emmanuella Tandoh (hardly on there) , David Asamoah-Duodu 

Twitter : @presidentduodu, @_xfollowmyheels.

1. Over 2 years of being together and no sex? How is this normal for you guys, since this wasn't how your previous relationships were?

DAVID: This is hands-down, my toughest project to date. Growing up, I was always told that sex should be saved for marriage. My Sunday school teachers told me that God would punish those who had sex before marriage. Because I did not want the wrath of God upon me, I decided at a young age that I would save sex for marriage. This was an easy vow to make during the times when I still ate boogers and thought girls were a little nasty. However, that phase passed and when the opportunity for sex presented itself, my fear of God’s punishment was nowhere to be found in the heat of passionate moments. Despite becoming sexually active, things in my life were still going very well. As a result, I came to the conclusion that God must not have been that unhappy with my new lifestyle. Watching porn, masturbating, and having sex had all become part of my norm. 

This was the case until I had an “at the well” experience. This happened gradually, but I became aware of an inherent hunger and thirst that lived deep within me. After numerous nights of studying the Bible and listening to sermons on YouTube during my senior year in high school, I began to learn more about this God who I had been running away from in my early days. The peace and the joy that came with knowing Him super passed the satisfaction of all the acts of temporary pleasure that I had come to know. Slowly but surely, God began to flip my world upside down. What I had come to accept as normal no longer felt right. Coming to know the love of God was the GAME-CHANGER for me. Temptation and sin did not magically disappear, but my reactions to them were no longer the same. During this transitional period, I fell countless times, because in my eagerness to change, I fought with my own strength. As God led me to humble myself, teaching me that the “spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41), I decided to surrender all to Him; my thoughts, my desires, my body, my all. For my body, abstaining from sex remains a foreign concept, as I am always ready to go. However, in my spirit, I am at peace with the decision to abstain, regardless of how unpopular this might be. I've chosen to die to this body in order to free my spirit, which carries the image of God. And this, has made saving sex normal.

ELLA: Adjusting wasn't easy at all for me. In my previous relationships, I expressed how much I wanted to practice abstinence. The guys would either play along with it for a while and cheat on me or they made me feel stupid for thinking that was an option. Before we got together, intimacy and sex were equivalent to me, it was a part of “showing” love or interest for someone. That mindset didn't just melt away when we got together, so the transition wasn't easy. I didn’t know how to show my love or affection without getting physical.  I remember also feeling like David wasn’t interested in me and he didn’t love me because he didn’t show his affection the way my ex’s did. Our first Christmas together he wrote me a poem along with my gift, and I thought it was really sweet…that’s it. A couple months ago I read it again and I couldn’t stop crying, seriously blown away by his love for me. But I realized that I didn’t really feel that way when he first gave it to me. It showed me that God was working on my heart the whole time. Transitioning definitely wasn’t normal but as I pursued God, He literally performed open heart surgery on me and I had no idea. When we allow the world to teach us how to love, we eventually end up suffering. Saving yourself for your spouse should be normal, but we need to turn back to God in order for it to be normal again. Don’t worry about it not feeling normal or how hard it’s going to be, God will handle it but are you READY?

Abstinence Ain't Sexy

Why is it so hard to believe that you can be in a relationship without sex, when you’ve had so many failed relationships with sex? Some use sex as a means of applying glue to a relationship and wonder why the bond ends up weakening to the point of destruction. How can a relationship truly stand the attacks of this world when Love Himself isn’t invited? The title of this blog expresses the lie the world attempts to portray as truth. There’s truly nothing sexier than abstaining from premature, untimely sex. It only sounds like a joke because we were born into a world that chooses to persuade us to believe that God and His Word is a joke because truth has been rejected. So truth is sex is great, there’s no way around it and God never labeled it as nasty or “bad”, or a topic to be forbidden from discussion in the church; we did that. Search all over the Bible and you’ll see that God deemed it good. 

To the Women

As a young woman, I found that abstinence is definitely sexy because it shows that I am aware of my worth and a man must handle me with care. This choice expresses my desire to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. The only way a man can have all of me is by courting me then giving up his bachelor life to be my husband. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s a part of being the woman God has called me to be. It’s not about being a perfect saint, it’s about persistently  fighting to live a life of purity. If His word says He wants you to keep your legs closed until you and your soul mate belong to each other, trust His word because He’s the real Love doctor. Those magazines, advice columns and friends are leading you astray, because they are secretly just as lost as you are. If there’s anyone who knows how to keep the love alive between you and your partner it’s God, don’t forget that He created the both of you.

Growing up, I lacked respect for men but David fell into a different category. I respect him because, he refuses to allow sex to be his master and he’s not encouraging his desires to cause him to disobey God’s word. Because David submits himself to God, I actually look forward to submitting myself to him when he’s my husband, and seriously after years of loving me without sex, his wish will always gladly be my command….TMI? When we are married I want to honor my husband out of desire, not just obligation. When love is done God’s way the “sexy” never dies. When I made Jesus the love of my life, I was be able to see myself the way He does. Try it out, He adores you and once the scales have been removed from your eyes you’ll understand why practicing abstinence is necessary for a jewel like yourself. Through abstinence both your strengths and weaknesses will be revealed to each other. It’ll cause you to lean on God while loving your partner despite their flaws, and that’s what intimacy is all about.

To the Gentlemen

As a young man, the thought of waiting until marriage seems impossible, especially since marriage seems so far away. And quite frankly, the desire for sex doesn’t magically disappear, no matter how many times I pray. To be completely honest, I sometimes get the urge in the middle of prayer. Nevertheless, as God continues to unveil the truth about Love, He’s shown me that selflessness is sacrifice, and love, in its most authentic form cannot exist without sacrifice (greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends) – John 15:13. He has taught me the importance of waging war against my flesh and laying down my sexual desires because in so doing, I exercise true love not only in obedience to Him, but in consideration of my future wife and other women out there.

By God’s grace, I happen to know who my future wife is. So for us, waiting is our love gift to one another, through which we express our utmost respect to each other and we invite our heavenly Father to be the foundation and focal point of the relationship. Because Emmanuella chooses to abstain as she practices purity and seeks her Father, who happens to be the King of kings, it becomes natural for me to treasure her as the princess she is. God has taught me to see her as the King’s daughter and this new perspective fights against all my urges to see her as an object for sexual release. This new perspective demands a different approach from me, especially since the King, her Father, sees and knows all things. It has not been easy, but God continues to teach and strengthen me in this fight. 

To All

On June 24, 2012, we were brought together, weathered from past experiences, scarred from failed relationships, yet united by the pacts we had separately made to radically and wholeheartedly seek God.

Over two years of waiting has been far from easy. But we know that every relationship, just like every life, has a great purpose upon it. We believe God is calling us to challenge ourselves and to save sex for the marriage bed.God brought us together quite early in our lives and we've been blessed with the opportunity to grow together in pursuit of a God-fearing marriage.  Regardless of who you are, the gift of waiting is a blessing in which we are all welcomed to partake.

For those who are courting and wish to abstain from sex, remember to set guidelines and to hold each other accountable. But don’t forget to be friends. Abstaining from sex does not pause romance.God has gladly provided many avenues for partners to grow in intimacy. If we would just take our focus off of the forbidden tree, we would be able to see and enjoy the many trees in the garden. For those who are single and waiting, thank God for this beautiful opportunity to grow individually in Him, as you build a strong foundation and He prepares you for the upcoming chapters in your life. Also, be careful that your desire for companionship does not lead you to compromise your decision to abstain from sex. Abstaining from sex will not fend off your life partner. At the appointed time,your soul mate will be grateful that you showed love even before knowing them. After all, the goal shouldn't be to just get married, but to stay married and to honor God with our marriage.

Grace & Love ,

David & Ella