His Chains Set Me Free: Childish Ways Are Now Behind

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. -1 Corinthians 13:11

Once upon a time, my every desire was catered to. Whether the desire was food, attention, a particular toy, or whatever else, the secret was to cry loudly. It worked almost every time. The reverse worked the same way. If there was anything I didn’t want, crying loudly was the signal for a different plate, my other toy, the channel with Barney, or whatever else I wanted changed. In those days, I got what I wanted, when I wanted it and how I wanted it.

The freedoms of babyhood were amazing. I knew no limits. As I got older, I grew more aware of the boundaries that guide life. Some boundaries, I had to learn about the hard way. In the 2nd grade, I hit a girl in school for calling me a name. Mama had to leave work to come to school and meet with my teacher. The bus ride home was silent. But when we finally got home, mama pulled out her everlasting cane and lit my behind up like it was the 4th of July. I got the message very clearly.

The more I mature, the more aware I become of the boundaries that exist. Not crossing these boundaries requires a great deal of discipline. Sometimes, the boundaries are in line with my own common sense. For example, if you have a 20-page research paper that you haven’t started and is due on Monday, first, you should reevaluate your life, but at the very least, you should probably tell your friends that you won’t be able to hang out this weekend. That’s an obvious boundary, but sometimes, the boundaries don’t make much sense at all. For example, why should I practice abstinence in the 21st century? I have access to protection from STD’s and from an unplanned pregnancy, and it feels great. Why would I save sex for marriage and risk making vows to someone who may not even drop it like its hot in the bedroom?

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." -Maya Angelou

The child in me has a million and one arguments as to why abstinence is a ridiculous idea. But that’s no surprise. The reasoning of a ‘child’ is quite simple: “I want it, so I should have it”, hence, a child's natural tendency to claim everything as "mine, mine, mine". But then, there’s the reasoning of a ‘man’, one who has matured in being. This person recognizes their body’s desire, but says, “wait, is this in line with the will of God?” After answering “no”, they bring their body into submission (1 Corinthians 9:27) and fight against the urges that will lead to sin.

Many people reject Christianity because they dislike the idea of limitations and boundaries. I mean, why surrender to some unseen higher power who tells you what you can and can’t do when you can just live “freely”. YOLO, right? 

I too, once felt this way, but God showed me that its His chains that set us free. When I became addicted to porn and masturbation because I wanted to do what I wanted to do, that was the real slavery. Feeling the natural urges to have sex, and having the power to say “no, I will not disobey God by indulging in this outside of its sacred context,” that’s freedom. Remembering all the old porn sites I used to visit, yet refusing to even entertain the images of video vixens in my mind, that’s freedom. Wanting to devour Ella like my first plate of jollof rice after coming home for the summer, but choosing to honor God by honoring her and waiting til marriage (huge sigh), that’s freedom.

Self-control and respect of boundaries are signs of real maturity.

When God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden, He first gave him work. The second thing was boundary; “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” (Genesis 2:16-17)

The great King David, well-known as the “man after God’s own heart”, had a boundary problem. Seeing Bathsheba bathing, he was aroused and failed to put his feelings under subjection before they led to sin. When He was rebuked, God made it clear to David how foolish it was for him to cross this boundary; “I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes?” (2 Samuel 12:8-9a)

Notice a trend here? God has a tendency of providing great blessings, great enjoyment, and great opportunity for refreshment, while He sets a relatively small boundary. Despite all the wives that God gave David, he committed adultery with someone else’s wife and killed the husband to cover it up. Despite all the trees to eat from, Adam ate from the forbidden tree. Their reward: calamity strikes David’s household, and Adam and Eve are expelled from the Garden. Unlike David, Adam, and Eve, a loyal servant of the Most High named Joseph understood his boundaries and remained faithful to God.

Joseph could have acted out of bodily desire and messed around with his master’s wife, but instead, he recognized his boundaries and acted accordingly, ““With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:8-9) Although he was framed and thrown into jail, God remembered him, and exalted him in due time.

Joseph remained faithful to God, even when he was tempted. He understood a valuable truth. Society tricks many of us into believing that “stolen waters are sweet”. But there is a level of maturity that grants us the insight that Joseph had and the lessons that David, Adam, and Eve learned: to recognize that stolen waters may be sweet, but they have a very bitter after taste. Would you rather learn the hard way? I almost did, but God covered me and yanked me out, right in the nick of time. Brothers and sisters, not warning you would be like seeing you walking on railroad tracks, blindfolded, and saying to myself, “welp, live and let live, right”.

God expects more from us because He wants more for us. He commands us to avoid sin for our own benefit. Sin is the boundary He commands us not to cross. If it appears too impossible, change your focus. Relationship with God is much more fulfilling than an affair with any idol. Don’t indulge in stolen waters. It’s not worth the future hurt.

Peace and Love,

David

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