A Christian Girl's Letter to Women: Why Are You so Mean to Me?

  

Stop side - eyeing me .

 I don't even know you, how can I not like you?

Why do you look at me as if I'm your enemy? Can we smile at each other?

Instead of examining me, searching for flaws and something to laugh at

Why can't you compliment me ? Why can't I compliment you?

Why do you look at me as if I'm in competition with you?

Is it to get his attention? You don't like me because of his attention?

No? Yes?

Well, why do you easily make friends with guys?

All he has to do is look your way. But what about me, your sister?

You can't trust females? Oh, but you can trust guys? After all they've done to

you? You don't have to make me your enemy, we don't have to fight each

other. How about we stand together, fight together, grow together, cry together?

I don't want you to wish you were me or wish you had my life.

I want you to be happy with what's yours.

No one can take your purpose away from you. Sis, I'm telling you the truth.

Does it feel uncomfortable that I keep calling you sis? Would it feel more

natural if I threw some shade? But you're my sister and I don't believe that it

should be natural for us to hate each other. They sold this lie to us and we're

buying it everyday. But we forget to check the expiration date, on hate.

It's rotten. I don't want it. I won't fight you, your my sister

I'm just praying that you wakeup, so that you can be my sister too.

You CAN sit with me.

Love,

Ella.

OUR NEW EBOOK "BREAKING FREE AFTER A BREAKUP" IS OUT NOW!!

HERE'S THE LINK!: http://www.amazon.com/dp/ASIN  https://books2read.com/u/3LrB7D   

Uh oh, I Feel Like My Girlfriend is Already My Wife

After 4 whole years of being with Emmanuella, it’s hard not to feel entitled to sex. In these four years, I’ve been faithful, loyal, patient, I’ve shown her the utmost respect, generosity and much more (I have definitely been a pain in the butt as well but that’s not the point right now). After all the flowers, edible arrangements, dinners, hours on the phone, sweet words, and Instagram features, there are moments when I feel like I’m putting in more work than half my brothers, but ain’t getting’ half of what they gettin’.

My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Wait Till Marriage to Have Sex (Trailer)

Hey guys! We're so excited to announce that we will be making blog videos starting February. Here's a trailer for the blog post "My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Wait Till Marriage to Have Sex", expect the full video soon! Please let us know the topics you would like for us to discuss in our future videos, we understand that sometimes the written blogs can be a little long (sorry) lol. We hope you enjoy the trailer!



                                                     Jesus is crazy about you,
                                                               David & Ella

OUR NEW EBOOK "BREAKING FREE AFTER A BREAKUP" IS OUT NOW!!
HERE'S THE LINK!: http://www.amazon.com/dp/ASIN  https://books2read.com/u/3LrB7D 

Season's Greetings from David & Ella

The Holiday Season is one that can sometimes be difficult to bear. For many, it is a time of much joy and cheer where appreciation for loved ones can be shown through the giving of gifts and time. But for many, it can also be a difficult time where people are constantly reminded about what they don't have, who they don't have or no longer have. 

Forget What You Know

In the movie Forbidden Kingdom, starring Jackie Chan and Jet Li, a young boy nags Chan about all the legendary Kung Fu moves that he wants to learn. Annoyed, Jackie Chan begins to fill the cup in the boy’s hands with hot water to the point of overflow. With burning hands from the spilling water, the boy urges Chan to stop, telling him that his cup is already full. To this, Jackie Chan responds, “exactly, how can your cup be filled if it is already full?”

How can your cup be filled if it is already full? It can’t. It must first be emptied. The young boy needed to forget about all those fancy moves he had heard about and seen and practiced in the mirror as a kid, and he had to be willing to learn from scratch. Then and only then, could the young boy move forward and learn the art of Kung Fu.

I'm Busy: I Don't Have Time For God!

Why is it so hard to spend quality time with God? Everyone and everything else gets our 

undivided attention, but God usually gets us when we're worn out from our day or too tired to get out of bed ..or when we need something. Our jobs, school, activities and material things get most of our time, but all these things can and will perish in a matter of seconds. Some of us take more care of our material things than our souls/spiritual life...but your car can easily be destroyed in an accident in 2 seconds, your hair can fall out, your sneakers can catch on fire BUT your spirit can either live in freedom or suffer for eternity. In any relationship, the people involved have to spend quality time with each other. A relationship without communication and quality time is dead and it cannot grow deeper in intimacy. Christianity is so much more than following a list of rules - do and don'ts.

His Chains Set Me Free: Childish Ways Are Now Behind

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. -1 Corinthians 13:11

Once upon a time, my every desire was catered to. Whether the desire was food, attention, a particular toy, or whatever else, the secret was to cry loudly. It worked almost every time. The reverse worked the same way. If there was anything I didn’t want, crying loudly was the signal for a different plate, my other toy, the channel with Barney, or whatever else I wanted changed. In those days, I got what I wanted, when I wanted it and how I wanted it.

When We Don't Deal With the 'Little' Sins

Many of us allow sin to hang around because it doesn’t seem to be doing much harm. We may convince ourselves that the sin is ‘small’ because it doesn’t hurt us or anyone else. “So what if I watch porn? I’m not doing anyone any harm. I’m just chillin’ in my room, mindin’ my own business. I don’t lie (most times), I’m not having sex, I don’t steal (unless its meat from the pot), and I help people whenever I can. I think God can cut me some slack, and let a brother live a little.”

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" - Matthew 14:30

Years ago, my Sunday school teacher would ask the class, “how many of you can honestly say that you will go to heaven if Jesus was to come back right now?” Although I never raised my hand, because it was the norm not to, I remember feeling like I would go to heaven. I remember thinking to myself, “I may not be perfect, but I’m a pretty good guy”. I remember looking around the room and thinking to myself, if I don’t make it to heaven, than most of these heathens don't stand a chance.

When the Enemy Reminds Me of My Past

“Blog about abstinence? me? God this sounds like a job for a virgin, my past is way too filthy.” - Me (During the time I argued with God about blogging). I couldn't understand why God wanted to use me. I was still in the process of forgiving myself and completely letting go of my past. Isn’t funny how the devil operates? he decorates sin, lures you in, then he binds you to it. You've said “this is the last time” way too many times! The devil will make sure that sin controls your thoughts, choices and how you spend your day. In the midst of ALL of this, the same devil who teased you with sin is accusing and labeling you a sinner before God. As the devil is accusing you, Jesus is interceding for you. What kind of love is this?! Not only did He die on the cross (for you) but He rose from the dead (for you), and is now sitting at the right hand of God interceding (for you) - Romans 8:34!! The devil works hard to make sure that you don’t forget what you've DONE, to stop you from what you could DO, if you knew how badly God wants to free you. He’ll either use your thoughts, people or anything else he can find. His goal is to hold you back from being the person God has called you to be because you’ll destroy his plans to steal, kill and destroy. So what do you do when the enemy tries to remind you of your past?

Young Christian Couples: Let's Talk Sex; FAQ (Part 1)

PART 2 will be posted very soon! Here are some questions we've been asked and we thought it would probably help others too. If you have any questions or you wish to discuss certain topics further, let us know below! For social media you can contact us on  Instagram : @For_ella @Presidentduodu,  Facebook : Emmanuella Tandoh (hardly on there) , David Asamoah-Duodu and Twitter : @presidentduodu @_xfollowmyheels.

1. Marriage is so far away; you guys are young, why start waiting now?

DAVID: The start of our careers is also far away, yet we’re in school, studying, writing papers, searching for internships, etc. in hopes of best preparing ourselves for our specific offices. In the same breath, we feel that marriage is a serious office that requires serious preparation. We believe that waiting is a huge element of that preparation, and so... we wait.

ELLA: What he said… Why not start now? Before we are even a couple we are God’s children, and our relationship with Him should also come before “us”. It amazes me how we’re so quick to subtract Gods instructions, and shove Him away but not question how the society says our relationships should be. We’re starting now because we want to grow intimacy every day. You might say it’s still possible to grow in intimacy with sex, but I think people only believe that because that’s all they know. When I compare my previous relationships to me and David’s relationship, I see a huge difference! Abstinence has a way of revealing your true colors without your control, I knew I had issues but this relationship has shown me that I’m actually a hot mess. It’s done the same for David also, loving each other back to life and praying for each other has brought a tremendous amount of healing! I know waiting till marriage isn’t the easiest thing to do, actually it’s become the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s brought healing I didn’t know I needed, brought me closer to God, and a relationship that always seems too good to be true. It’s worth it.

Abstinence Ain't Sexy

Why is it so hard to believe that you can be in a relationship without sex, when you’ve had so many failed relationships with sex? Some use sex as a means of applying glue to a relationship and wonder why the bond ends up weakening to the point of destruction. How can a relationship truly stand the attacks of this world when Love Himself isn’t invited? The title of this blog expresses the lie the world attempts to portray as truth. There’s truly nothing sexier than abstaining from premature, untimely sex. It only sounds like a joke because we were born into a world that chooses to persuade us to believe that God and His Word is a joke because truth has been rejected. So truth is sex is great, there’s no way around it and God never labeled it as nasty or “bad”, or a topic to be forbidden from discussion in the church; we did that. Search all over the Bible and you’ll see that God deemed it good. 

To the Women

As a young woman, I found that abstinence is definitely sexy because it shows that I am aware of my worth and a man must handle me with care. This choice expresses my desire to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. The only way a man can have all of me is by courting me then giving up his bachelor life to be my husband. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s a part of being the woman God has called me to be. It’s not about being a perfect saint, it’s about persistently  fighting to live a life of purity. If His word says He wants you to keep your legs closed until you and your soul mate belong to each other, trust His word because He’s the real Love doctor. Those magazines, advice columns and friends are leading you astray, because they are secretly just as lost as you are. If there’s anyone who knows how to keep the love alive between you and your partner it’s God, don’t forget that He created the both of you.

Growing up, I lacked respect for men but David fell into a different category. I respect him because, he refuses to allow sex to be his master and he’s not encouraging his desires to cause him to disobey God’s word. Because David submits himself to God, I actually look forward to submitting myself to him when he’s my husband, and seriously after years of loving me without sex, his wish will always gladly be my command….TMI? When we are married I want to honor my husband out of desire, not just obligation. When love is done God’s way the “sexy” never dies. When I made Jesus the love of my life, I was be able to see myself the way He does. Try it out, He adores you and once the scales have been removed from your eyes you’ll understand why practicing abstinence is necessary for a jewel like yourself. Through abstinence both your strengths and weaknesses will be revealed to each other. It’ll cause you to lean on God while loving your partner despite their flaws, and that’s what intimacy is all about.

To the Gentlemen

As a young man, the thought of waiting until marriage seems impossible, especially since marriage seems so far away. And quite frankly, the desire for sex doesn’t magically disappear, no matter how many times I pray. To be completely honest, I sometimes get the urge in the middle of prayer. Nevertheless, as God continues to unveil the truth about Love, He’s shown me that selflessness is sacrifice, and love, in its most authentic form cannot exist without sacrifice (greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends) – John 15:13. He has taught me the importance of waging war against my flesh and laying down my sexual desires because in so doing, I exercise true love not only in obedience to Him, but in consideration of my future wife and other women out there.

By God’s grace, I happen to know who my future wife is. So for us, waiting is our love gift to one another, through which we express our utmost respect to each other and we invite our heavenly Father to be the foundation and focal point of the relationship. Because Emmanuella chooses to abstain as she practices purity and seeks her Father, who happens to be the King of kings, it becomes natural for me to treasure her as the princess she is. God has taught me to see her as the King’s daughter and this new perspective fights against all my urges to see her as an object for sexual release. This new perspective demands a different approach from me, especially since the King, her Father, sees and knows all things. It has not been easy, but God continues to teach and strengthen me in this fight. 

To All

On June 24, 2012, we were brought together, weathered from past experiences, scarred from failed relationships, yet united by the pacts we had separately made to radically and wholeheartedly seek God.

Over two years of waiting has been far from easy. But we know that every relationship, just like every life, has a great purpose upon it. We believe God is calling us to challenge ourselves and to save sex for the marriage bed.God brought us together quite early in our lives and we've been blessed with the opportunity to grow together in pursuit of a God-fearing marriage.  Regardless of who you are, the gift of waiting is a blessing in which we are all welcomed to partake.

For those who are courting and wish to abstain from sex, remember to set guidelines and to hold each other accountable. But don’t forget to be friends. Abstaining from sex does not pause romance.God has gladly provided many avenues for partners to grow in intimacy. If we would just take our focus off of the forbidden tree, we would be able to see and enjoy the many trees in the garden. For those who are single and waiting, thank God for this beautiful opportunity to grow individually in Him, as you build a strong foundation and He prepares you for the upcoming chapters in your life. Also, be careful that your desire for companionship does not lead you to compromise your decision to abstain from sex. Abstaining from sex will not fend off your life partner. At the appointed time,your soul mate will be grateful that you showed love even before knowing them. After all, the goal shouldn't be to just get married, but to stay married and to honor God with our marriage.

Grace & Love ,

David & Ella