Hey guys! We're so excited to announce that we will be making blog videos starting February. Here's a trailer for the blog post "My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Wait Till Marriage to Have Sex", expect the full video soon! Please let us know the topics you would like for us to discuss in our future videos, we understand that sometimes the written blogs can be a little long (sorry) lol. We hope you enjoy the trailer!
Jesus is crazy about you,
David & Ella
OUR NEW EBOOK "BREAKING FREE AFTER A BREAKUP" IS OUT NOW!! HERE'S THE LINK!: http://www.amazon.com/dp/ASIN https://books2read.com/u/3LrB7D
You know that empty feeling you get after having sex?... it was great but SOMETHING doesn’t feel right.
You’ve been convicted about the double life that you’ve been living by not giving God every area of your life. Deep down you’re unhappy with yourself and you wish your mind and vagina will catch up with your heart. It doesn’t help that your boyfriend thinks that waiting till marriage to have sex is “childish” and stupid… SO, WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?
Many of us allow sin to hang around because it doesn’t
seem to be doing much harm. We may convince ourselves that the sin is ‘small’
because it doesn’t hurt us or anyone else. “So what if I watch
porn?I’m not doing anyone any harm. I’m just chillin’ in my room, mindin’ my
own business. I don’t lie (most times), I’m not having sex, I don’t steal
(unless its meat from the pot), and I help people whenever I can. I think God can
cut me some slack, and let a brother live a little.”
But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" - Matthew 14:30
Years ago, my Sunday school teacher would ask the class, “how many of you can
honestly say that you will go to heaven if Jesus was to come back right now?” Although I never
raised my hand, because it was the norm not to, I remember feeling like I would
go to heaven. I remember thinking to myself, “I may not be perfect,
but I’m a pretty good guy”. I remember looking around the room and thinking to myself, if I
don’t make it to heaven, than most of these heathens don't stand a chance.
“Blog about abstinence? me? God this sounds like a job for a virgin, my past is way too filthy.” - Me (During the time I argued with God about blogging). I couldn't understand why God wanted to use me. I was still in the process of forgiving myself and completely letting go of my past. Isn’t funny how the devil operates? he decorates sin, lures you in, then he binds you to it. You've said “this is the last time” way too many times! The devil will make sure that sin controls your thoughts, choices and how you spend your day. In the midst of ALL of this, the same devil who teased you with sin is accusing and labeling you a sinner before God. As the devil is accusing you, Jesus is interceding for you. What kind of love is this?! Not only did He die on the cross (for you) but He rose from the dead (for you), and is now sitting at the right hand of God interceding (for you) - Romans 8:34!! The devil works hard to make sure that you don’t forget what you've DONE, to stop you from what you could DO, if you knew how badly God wants to free you. He’ll either use your thoughts, people or anything else he can find. His goal is to hold you back from being the person God has called you to be because you’ll destroy his plans to steal, kill and destroy. So what do you do when the enemy tries to remind you of your past?
Facebook : Emmanuella Tandoh (hardly on there) , David Asamoah-Duodu
Twitter : @presidentduodu, @_xfollowmyheels.
1. Over 2 years of being together and no sex? How is this normal for you guys, since this wasn't how your previous relationships were?
DAVID:This is hands-down, my toughest project to
date. Growing up, I was always told that sex should be saved for marriage. My
Sunday school teachers told me thatGod would
punishthose who
had sex before marriage. Because I did not want the wrath of God upon me, I
decided at a young age that I would save sex for marriage. This was an easy vow
to make during the times when I still ate boogers and thought girls were a
little nasty. However, that phase passed and when the opportunity for sex
presented itself, myfear of God’s
punishmentwas nowhere
to be found in the heat of passionate moments. Despite becoming sexually
active, things in my life were still going very well. As a result, I came to
the conclusion that God must not have been that unhappy with my new lifestyle.Watching porn, masturbating, and
having sex had all become part of my norm.
This was the case until I had an “at the well”
experience. This happened gradually, but I became aware of aninherent hunger and thirstthat lived deep within me. After numerous
nights of studying the Bible and listening to sermons on YouTube during my
senior year in high school, I began to learn more about this God who
I had been running away from in my early days. Thepeaceand thejoythat came with knowing Him super
passed the satisfaction of all the acts of temporary pleasure that I had come
to know. Slowly but surely, God began to flip my world upside down.What I had come to accept as normal
no longer felt right. Coming to know the love of God was the GAME-CHANGER for
me. Temptation and sin did not magically disappear, but my reactions to them
were no longer the same. During this transitional period, I fell countless
times, because in my eagerness to change, I fought with my own strength. As God
led me to humble myself, teaching me that the “spirit is willing, but the flesh
is weak” (Matthew 26:41), I decided to surrender all to Him; my thoughts, my
desires, my body, my all. For my body, abstaining from sex remains a foreign
concept, as I am always ready to go. However, in my spirit,I am at peace with the decision
to abstain, regardless of how unpopular this might be. I've chosen
to die to this body in order to free my spirit, which carries the image of God.
And this, has madesaving sex
normal.
ELLA: Adjusting wasn't easy at all for me. In my previous
relationships, I expressed how much I wanted to practice abstinence. The guys
would either play along with it for a while and cheat on me or they made me
feel stupid for thinking that was an option. Before we got together,intimacy and sex were equivalent to
me, it was a part of “showing” love or interest for someone. That
mindset didn't just melt away when we got together, so the transition wasn't
easy.I didn’t know how to show my love or affection without getting
physical. I remember also feeling like David wasn’t interested in me
and he didn’t love me because he didn’t show his affection the way my ex’s did.
Our first Christmas together he wrote me a poem along with my gift, and I
thought it was really sweet…that’s it. A couple months ago I read
it again and I couldn’t stop crying, seriously blown away by his love for me.
But I realized that I didn’t really feel that way when he first gave it to me.
It showed me that God was working on my heart the whole time. Transitioning
definitely wasn’t normal but as I pursued God, He literally
performed open heart surgery on me and I had no idea. When we allow
the world to teach us how to love, we eventually end up suffering. Saving
yourself for your spouse should be normal, but we need to turn back to God in
order for it to be normal again. Don’t worry about it not feeling normal or how
hard it’s going to be, God will handle it but are you READY?
When we reflect on our past experiences, we find that there are many things we wish we could change. We wish we could take back some things we said, some things we thought, and some things we DID. If we were to find a genie, our wish might be for a time machine so that we could go back and undo some things in hope of a different and better outcome. Sadly, despite all advancements, we still live in a technological age incapable of locating an entire aircraft that goes missing at sea. Sorry to break it to you, but we will not see an operating time machine anytime soon. Perhaps, a better option will be to forget the hurt and to reject the regret of yesterday. Let them go, BUT do not forget how God kept you and brought you out. The realization of God’s sufficient grace turns the story of your mess into a MESSAGE and the story of your test into a TESTIMONY.
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. – Revelations 12:11
The blood of the Lamb was shed some 2000 years ago, but the fulfillment of our triumph is delayed because God’s people have withheld their testimony. You can’t imagine sharing your past with your clique. It’ll take your reputation from 100 to 0 real quick. Nevertheless, the benefits are endless. Not only will others be encouraged by hearing about your experiences, but they will be reminded of God’s endless love for us, despite us.
In hopes of encouraging more transparency within God’s family, I will stop talking about sharing and SHARE.
I was first exposed to a pornographic video when I was in the 2nd grade. I didn’t know what I was watching or what it was called, but I knew that the physical reaction I had to the visual was something I enjoyed and wanted more of. This was the beginning of an addiction that would grow and last for 10 years until my senior year in high school. In the 2nd grade, I didn’t think God had a problem with this, but I knew that I could not allow my mom to discover this secret. Before long, pornography by itself became boring, and I soon coupled it with masturbation, a trick I learned during my high school days. By now, I knew what the church’s stance on these things were, but in an effort to justify my actions I would search the web for different views and comfort myself with articles that argued that this was normal and encouraged the practice for stress-relieving and good health. Besides, I was still a virgin; that was all that mattered right?
Pornography and masturbation opened the door to a whole lot of MESS. During this time, I could not walk by a woman without unclothing her in my mind. It became so serious, that my mind stopped caring whether or not these women had reached the age of consent. In other words, even little girl cousins were victims of my unclothing mind. My pedophilic thoughts were soon accompanied by homosexual thoughts. One night in high school, I had a wet dream in which I had sex with a man. Lost and ashamed, I fought off suicidal thoughts as best I could. In an effort to reassure myself that I was not gay, I decided it was time to let my virginity go. Pornography and masturbation had nothing on sexual intercourse. I became completely deaf to any talk of abstinence once I became sexually active.
BUT GOD had different plans. Not only did He keep me and protect me while I was happily living in sin, but He snatched me out of that life before things could get really bad. In reflection, I see that God was always there with me. He kept me from any untimely pregnancies. Every time I received a text message about a late period, it was soon followed by a life-saving “it came” message. He kept me from losing my high school scholarship for being in the girls’ dormitory outside of permitted time. He kept me in academic excellence when the warfare in my mind should have made itimpossible to study. He kept me from doing anything with my cousins that would completely ruin my life and theirs. I could go on and on about how things could have gone completely south... BUT GOD.
After relieving me from the bondage of sexual sin, a process that happened gradually, He opened my eyes to see that although the bondage was an attack of the enemy upon my life, nothing happened outside of His sovereignty. He showed me that the enemy wished to take advantage of a generational curse as a means of destroying me. Between my two grandfathers, there were 90 children and 9 wives. My father, limited by the culture of a newer time, had 5 children between 4 women. I say this to point out that sexual sin has been a trend in my family and has resulted in broken families and single mother households, such as my own. God showed me that the enemy did not have anything against me personally. Satan’s beef was with God.
Not only did God know me before I was placed in my mother’s womb, but so did the enemy. Satan knows the purpose for which I was created and he knew the ministry God was conceiving in my spiritual belly, before I did. In an effort to destroy that purpose and that ministry, he attacked me at my weak point from a tender age. Knowing that I would be blessed with the gift of marriage, he fought to ruin my marriage before it even began. He knew that by bounding me in sexual sin, both my marriage and household would be doomed. If he succeeded in this, the ministry in my belly would never become reality… BUT GOD.
He protected me, kept me, and rescued me so that my test and my mess should become myTESTIMONY and my MESSAGE. You may relate to none of it, some of it, or all of it. Nevertheless, your story is precious to our Almighty Father. And He who knows the stars by name allows nothing to happen outside of His sovereignty. He hurt you to heal you, He drained you to fill you, and He broke your life down to rebuild you. Open your heart to receive His grace, forgiveness, and love. And I dare you to OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SHARE YOUR TESTIMONY TO PROCLAIM THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
